Before I change my mind
A film by
Trevor Anderson
When I was a teenager in the 1980s, I was often asked, “Are you a boy or a girl?” and I wish I could have let that question hang in the air unanswered, like Robin does in the film. At the beginning of the film, Robin is confronted with the question, “What are you?” meaning, “Are you a boy or a girl?” We watch as Robin slowly exchanges that question for a bigger one: “What are you?” can mean “What kind of person are you?” Robin comes to grips with the larger ethical realization that one’s actions toward others have resounding consequences. In this way, we’re able to move from questions of identity to considerations of how to be in community.
The script, by me and my writing partner Fish Griwkowsky, avoids all gendered pronouns for Robin. No one within the film calls Robin “he,” “she,” or “they.” We intentionally avoided writing a moment of gender disclosure in the film, because I don’t believe Robin knows satisfactory words to describe this experience yet. Likewise, we avoided showing other characters assign a gender to Robin – something we can be sure would be happening offscreen – so as not to misgender Robin within the film. This keeps the focus on Robin’s interior, subjective experience of being in the world. Offscreen, Vaughan Murrae – the actor who plays Robin – uses they/them pronouns for themself personally, but when I talk or write about the film, I try not to use “he,” “she,” or “they” to refer to the character of Robin. It takes concentration, but it can be done!
It’s my hope that the film can explore the inner, emotional reality of not having words to describe your gender, yet not letting your gender define you.
Vaughan Murrae, Dominic Lippa, Laceey Oake, Matthew Rankin, Shannon Blanchet, Rohan Khare, Jhztyn Contado, Milana Bochinska, Kaitlyn Haugen, Kristin Johnston, Trevor Anderson
DIRECTING: Trevor Anderson
SCREENPLAY: Trevor Anderson et Fish Griwkowsky
PRODUCTION : Katrina Beatty, Alyson Richards (Loud Whisper Productions, Outside Line Studio)
CINEMATOGRAPHY: Wesley R. Miron
SOUND: Johnny Blerot
MUSIC : Lyle Bell
EDITING : Justin Lachance, CCE
When new kid Robin arrives to a small-town middle school in 1987, the other students have one question: “Are you a boy or a girl?” Robin forges a complicated bond with the school bully, Carter, and starts making increasingly dangerous choices to fit in. Robin joins in Carter’s tormenting of unpopular Tony, and sidelines Carter’s former wingman, Shev. Soon, a golden-voiced singer, Izzy, arrives on the scene, and a blurry adolescent love triangle is formed between Robin, Carter, and Izzy.
Before I Change My Mind I 2022
Jesse Jams I 2020
Docking I 2019
The Little Deputy I 2015
The Man That Got Away I 2012
The High Level Bridge I 2010
Figs in Motion I 2010
Punchlines I 2009
The Island I 2009
Carpet Diem I 2008
Dinx I 2008
Rock Pockets I 2007
Rugburn I 2005
Trevor is a writer-director-actor and former video store clerk whose short films have been presented at manyinternational festivals. His work has screened three times at Sundance and twice at the Berlinale, where hismusicalThe Man That Got Away(2012) won the D.A.A.D. Short Film Prize. His westernThe Little Deputy(2015)and his science fiction horrorDocking(2019) both premiered at Sundance, and were named to Canada’s TopTen by the Toronto International Film Festival.Before I Change My Mindis Trevor’s first feature film
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